A surefire way to do something is to announce that you will never do it. Inevitably, life will bring you directly to the thing, and will probably laugh at you as you are in the midst of it.

Case in point:

Senior year of high school: “I am not going to Roberts Wesleyan College.”
September 2004: Enrolled as a freshman at Roberts Wesleyan College.

Entire college career: “I will never be an admissions counselor.”
August 2008: Began employment as an admissions counselor.

Last day of high school gym: “I will never run another day in my life.”
January 25th, 2010: Registered for my first half-marathon, which will be run on my birthday.

Now I’m not sure if it’s the relentless stubborn drive in me that hears these negative proclamations and decides to show them a thing or two or if it’s just some messed up form of backwards karma or if it’s God telling me not get ahead of him, but no matter the cause the results never vary.

And I’ve certainly learned my lesson, seeing as how I just paid a hefty registration fee to be allowed to run for miles on end in the early morning hours of my birthday. If pain and exhaustion at sunrise doesn’t say birthday party, I don’t know what does.