When my brain explodes in the next 10 – 15 minutes, these are the questions the CSI team will find bursting from my gray matter:

1. How do I use a smart phone?

2. Why did I buy a smart phone?

3. Why am I not smart enough to know how to use a smart phone?

4. How did my 76 year old father know how to insert the battery into my phone before I did?

5. Why don’t we live in a time before cell phones existed? a happier time?

6. How do I get my phone to stop beckoning me with slightly disturbing noises from across the room?

7. Where am I going to sleep in Texas?

8. Where am I going to sleep in (insert various states)?

9. Why do I subscribe to 68 blogs in Google Reader?

10. If I don’t check my Google Reader for the next 3 months, will my computer explode? will the internet itself explode?

11. What am I going to have for dinner?

12. Why are there so many options on this menu?

13. Why are we consulting about dinner choices at 3:00pm?

14. When am I going to finish the three books I have to return to the library before I leave?

15. Who named Abiquiu, New Mexico?

16. How do you pronounce Abiquiu?

17. Am I the only 24 year old who doesn’t know how to use a smart phone?

18. When is the last time I moved from this desk?

19. Who was sent home on the episode of Top Chef I was watching?

20. How much ice cream is too much ice cream in terms of servings per day week?

21. Who are the Packers going to start tonight?

22. Why is NASCAR a sport?

23. Why is race walking a sport?

24. Why am I inside going insane when it’s so nice outside?

Over and out. I’m removing myself from this desk and from electronic devices of all kinds to soak up the flood of questions with some sunshine.

Oh my word.