Oh, friends. I have a special dose of Christmas joy to top off what was hopefully an already joyous day for all of you.

Tonight my parents and I decided to play some card games. My suggestion to play games had less to do with my desire to actually play and more to do with my desire to garner a few new Mom Quotes for the list. My mom is a free spirit when it comes to games. Whatever she happens to be thinking makes a direct trip from thought to speech, which usually results in confusion, side-splitting laughter, and a short moratorium while we all recover. She did not disappoint tonight.

During Uno:

Mom: I have more reds than the whole country of Afghan.

Me: Is that a reference to communism?

Mom: No, Afghan.

Me: As in the blanket?

Mom: No, the country.

Me: There is no country named “Afghan.”

Mom: (Peeved) Well if there isn’t then what do they call it?

Me: Some call it Afghanistan.

Mom: Oh, yeah yeah yeah! That’s the one.

During Taboo; she was giving the clues, I was guessing:

Mom: The President on the $5 bill!

Me: Jefferson.

Mom: No!

Me: But Jefferson is the President on the $5 bill?

Mom: Oh, well maybe it’s not him. The President on the $10 bill!

Me: Hamilton.

Mom: Nope, not him either.

Me: Ok, what else did he do that does not involve cash?

Mom: (Laughing so hard that she cannot continue, leaving me with a grand total of zero points for the round.)

Turns out we were searching for Jefferson, whose apparent claim to fame is his representation on the five ten two dollar bill.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.